Can't Do it All

I've been knee deep in my new business since June 3rd, and ever since then I've been reminded that I can't give everything in my life 100%, as much as I'd love to. One thing I've really missed is my blog. So here I am. Being a working at home mama has been challenging. I fight with myself all the time about not spending enough quality time with my kids, not spending enough time on house chores, not spending enough time in my bible studies and devotions, and how to spend my time wisely with my business. Phew... I know I know,  I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but that's where I'm getting at. I've been finding some good ways to prioritize my time and keep me on schedule. Like right now, Sara is sitting on my lap, watching the Croods while I'm typing all this out. ha We're getting some good cuddles in, AND I get to keep saying, "Hey, that's my keyboard silly". There is such thing as too much multi-tasking.

I just finished this bible study with some ladies from church on "Calming my Anxious Heart". In a nutshell, God has taught me not to worry so much. Trust that God has His in my life and that He will take care of me. Another thing I really have taken to heart with this bible study is that I should not dwell on the future. It's in my blood to always want a plan, but I have been spending too much time dwell on what life with be like in the future, or what it'll be like in Alaska, that I guess I "check out" of the place I'm at. This bible verse sums it up: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7 

Not only this, but it's reminded me to be content with what God has provided us with. We've really had to start hardcore budgeting recently. We had been spending like we use to, because we were so use to not having to worry about how we would pay for things. Now, it's all about having a plan, sticking to our budget, looking for sales, couponing, thinking before we buy "do I really need this?", and saving for things. I know that God will provide, I just selfishly get upset when we just can't go out to eat at our favorite place because I don't feel like cooking that day, or going on vacation without thinking about costs. But in all honesty, I feel like we're really creating new healthy money habits, and learning LOTS about self-control! Budget almost feels like a whole other side job too. haha 

The LuLaRoe business has been hard and fun. I really do like selling it, but starting up a new company is really hard. It's not like teaching where I worked hard and then always knew exactly when I'd be paid. With this... I'm constantly making money and then turning around and putting it back into buying more things. So it's hard to see the fruits of my labor. But I get to make women happy, and I get to help them feel good about themselves. And that's a fun part of the job. 

Then there's the Home School Preschool! I just started it up today with the girls. I'm following an awesome mommy blogger at simplylearningkids.com and she puts together these Literature Units for toddlers and to go along with it, she has Tiny Tot activities. So both girls can do things. I love it because it's the right balance of school and play. I firmly believe in learning through playing at this age. I don't expect the girls to be reading books before they get to Kindergarten, but it is nice giving them a foundation and hopefully showing them early that learning IS in fact fun! I LOVE being able teach at home and the girls seem to enjoy it too. So I'm hopping to open up a tab so that I can show off things we do for people to get idea or just see what we're up to! If you have Instagram, you can also follow what we do @teachermama1138

Our family has been doing pretty well. It seems like the girls are constantly getting sick.... Sara especially. We didn't do too much traveling this summer. Well, I take that back... we did make a road trip to Las Vegas and then the girls and I went down to visit my family in Arizona. That was a lot of fun. And all my grandparents were so happy to see the girls in person. Jason made a trip back to Ohio. His PeePaw (Grandpa), hasn't been doing too well. He'd been in and out of the hospital, and this is a crazy story about God's timing. We had planned on sending Jason out when I went to Arizona. We figured he'd be able to check up on his PeePaw, or he'd get to be there for his Nannie and give her some support. So Jason flew in and got to Ohio and went straight to his grandparent's house, and his PeePaw at this point was not doing well, but he was at home. Jason was able to spend the evening with PeePaw and his family and they shared some very memorable moments together. And early that next morning, PeePaw passed away. Jason was able to stay in Ohio for the funeral too. I know he was very grateful for the time he got to spend with PeePaw and the time he spent celebrating his life. We also made a family trip up to San Fransisco, which 2 years ago I vowed never to do again... but one of my best friends was getting married and I wasn't about to miss that. Next month, we're making our last Disneyland trip before we move and in October we are heading to Arizona for my mom's side of the family reunion! 

So the girls.... These girls are SO awesome. I love them! Most of the time they play really well together! But oh man... when they don't play well, it gets LOUD. haha Sara is almost 3! Crazy. She is in love with Aladdin and Baymax a (Big Hero 6) at the moment. She still loves to read and she loves playing with my old Polly Pockets. She is such a sweet and caring big sister, but obviously she has her stubborn moments too or moment of weakness where she gets really mad at Jordyn. She's getting good with ridding her scooter and her tricycle and has finally gotten to the point where she can go to the bathroom completely on her own (though she did fall in the toilet the other day because she didn't put her toilet seat on). Sara just started going to the 3-5 year old Sunday School class. She loves it. She always talks about going to school, and since we won't be sending her to school anytime soon... we thought is was time for her to step up to the next class! We're working on skills of getting herself dressed, cleaning herself in the tub, and making her own snacks. Jordyn is 14 months now. She picked up on walking very quickly, and is now almost running after Sara now. She doesn't physically say much, but she has picked up sign language really well. She's a feisty girl. Jordyn loves to dance and she loves to snuggle with her Mickey and Minney. OH, and she loves bouncy balls. Anytime we're out at a store, she gets so excited when pass them. Really, she just loves to play. It's been crazy how much she understands! I'll say "Did you go poo poo?" and then she'll sign "diaper" and go get one, bring it back and lay down right in front of us. haha

We're just counting down the days until Alaska! Oh! And Jason made Tech Sergeant. So that's good news. I guess that's all I've got to say for now. Hopefully it won't be too long before I get back on here again.

Fwamilies

Since we have many family photos on our wall, a couple months back Jason started teaching Sara that we were a "family". So she names everyone: "Mommy, Daddy, Jordyn, Sara.... fwwwaaamilies". Or when one of us is missing she'll say, "oh no! Fwamilies is missing!"

I thought I'd write a little update about what our little family is up to. Like a Christmas car letter in May.

 

We'll start with Mommy.
One big thing I decided to start doing was selling "LuLaRoe". It'll be nice to get some extra income coming into our family, and I'm excited about it. It's modest, cute clothing that will make people happy, and it's always nice to spread happiness to other ladies. I just placed my initial order today! So for anyone who reads this and is interested, you can follow me on Instagram @LuLaRoe_MelissaLawyer or go to my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/LuLaRoeMelissaLawyer/ Still trucking along being a Stay at Home Momma. After all the turmoil of deciding if I wanted to go back to work or not, I'm so happy that I get to be home with my girls right now. It's a wonderful, but challenging, life!
The other day someone made an assumption that I have "all day to do things"... I was so dumbfounded I didn't know how to reply. If only I had all day to "do things". This person obviously did not have children. Preparing three meals a day, cleaning up those meals and the girls... actually making the meal plan (THE WORST) and shopping for the food, planning my "TotSchool" activities for Sara and keeping the girls engaged in doing different things all day, doing laundry and other chores, fitting in workouts and devotionals for ME, maybe they nap... maybe they decide to kick the wall instead for an hour... going to gymnastics, dance, the library, parks, children's museums, and other field trips in hopes that it will wear them out, and getting my snuggles in! Yeah... I have so much free time... But as I said, I love this busy life I signed up for! 

Daddy. 
Daddy is just a busy working man. I'm so proud of how he takes his job seriously, takes pride in his work. And he has so much fun playing with the girls when he gets home. Lucky Jason got to go to Hawaii for two weeks for vacation...I mean work. haha He says he didn't enjoy himself, but I think he was trying to make me feel better. As always, he has been working and studying hard to better himself in his career. He tested for Tech Sargent a couple months ago and we should get word on that in the upcoming months! He's such a good Daddy, and I am so thankful he's the kind of daddy that will come in the door from work and jump in on whatever it is we're doing. He's a good helper, and I am a blessed woman. :)

Jordyn. 
She still has her own little monthly updates, so I won't say much. But it's crazy how she's been hitting milestones around the same time Sara did. Her personality is just really coming out. She loves laughing, loves Sara and EVERYTHING Sara does, she loves eating anything and I haven't found anything she doesn't eat. She's still pretty attached to Momma, so that's been a bit of a struggle. This girl has so many qualities of a Gryfindor student. haha I can't believe how daring and courageous she seems to be. Not only that, but when she DOES seem to hurt herself, she just gets up and keeps going. haha So when she cries over it, I know she really hurt herself. There's nothing she won't try climbing on and there's little things that she thinks are so humorous, it's so impressive that she knows to be silly. We just love her to pieces.

Sara.
2 1/2 Years old today! People seem to think that she's 3. She loves to talk. Most of the time it's hilarious to hear the things she comes up with. Sometimes though, it makes you realize you should watch what you say or your kid will run around the zoo yelling "come here stupid duck!" This little girl took to potty training like a boss. It was a little stressful at first, but she's been doing such a great job with it! I think it's been about two months she's had it together. She's shown herself to be such a compassionate little girl. She's always concerned about how people are feeling, it's really sweet. She can also be a stinker, especially when it comes to sharing her toys with her sister. I feel like half of the time, she can't play with her toys because she's spending the whole time keeping them away from Jordyn. But she loves doing her activities and crafts each week, and it's amazing how much she's been learning this year. She'll say or do things, and I just am stunned that she knows that! She's an awesome big sister and a wonderful little girl!

So the 2 questions we've been asked a lot lately are: "Do you have order to go anywhere/Do you know how long you'll be at Vandenberg?" and "Are you going to try for a boy?"

Jason has a little over a year left on his enlistment. We're in the stage of praying and discussing what we want to do. If we stay in, then we'll be in for the long haul, and if we get out... then what would we do? We're leaning towards staying in, but who knows? We have until next April to finalize that. We don't have orders anywhere, nor do we have any hopes of them in the future. We're ready to though! Not that we hate this place, but it's coming up on 4 years so we're ready for something else.

We've always pictured ourselves with three kids. So no, we're not going to try for a boy... but we ARE going to have a third child. If it's a girl, then that will be the perfect way to complete our family. If it's a boy, then that will be the perfect way to complete our family. So there will be another baby in the near future, but none to speak of yet! ;)

So there you have it. Our May Christmas card for you all to enjoy.

Love

This topic has been weighing on my heart and mind for a while now. Marriage. Marriage is hard enough in itself, but man, who knew adding little people into the family would make things so much harder. Well, actually lots of people knew, I just refused to believe that my marriage would be rocked because of kids.

After spending a whole day with the girls, cooking, cleaning, getting around to helping everyone out and having conversations with my two year old, you would think that all I want to do is curl up with my husband and have a great conversation. With an adult! But honestly, it's one of the hard parts of staying home that I didn't realize would happen. Most of the time, all I want to do is just sit, and be silent. I think that now we have kids it's kind of so easy for us to not talk to each other. It's not that we hate each other now, it's just that we've both been doing our own thing all day, with kids and work and other people, and we haven't had a chance for any solo time!

Then, I feel like everything revolves around the children now days. We're either playing with the kids, talking to them, reading with them, disciplining them, feeding them, bathing them, or just talking about them when they go to sleep. Who knew two little people would take up so much of your lives.

There's also the parenting styles. Jason has his way of doing things and so do it. Sometimes it's just hard to remember that we are more than just parents. We are one, we are together, and husband and wife first. Yes, we will parent the children different ways, but I have to tell myself that that shouldn't get in the way of Jason and I as husband and wife.

I don't really want to just dwell on the bad parts of marriage, but I'd rather share things we've been doing to reconnect as married people. This has become something I've realized is incredibly important, because we are the examples for what our daughters see for a marriage. I want to be a good example of what a respectful wife should look like, which is one thing I've been focusing on in my life.

So here are somethings we've been doing lately to reconnect.

1. Date! 

It's funny that even as a stay at home mom, it's hard to leave my kids behind to go on a date with the Husband. I just miss them so much! But honestly, it feels good to go out with Jason and get to be "us" for a while without the little ones. One of my favorite date nights we've been on so far is one we had while we were in Ohio. We've been wanting to do a restaurant crawl for a while, and we finally did it. Normally, it would be that you go to a restaurant for a drink, then another for appetizers, then another for your main course, and another for desert. We went to a little historical town in Ohio and it was so much fun going to all the different places on the old timey feel street.

 

  

  

 

2. Love Languages 

During our pre-marriage counseling, we had done a little questionnaire to find out what our love languages were. Jason had saved the paperwork and we went back over them about a month ago. It's interesting to see how they have changed since we've had kids. I found this app for the Love Languages and we both did the quiz on there and started a challenge they include. It gives you a weekly task to do for your spouse as well as some "Conversation Starters". They are both really cool.  The conversation starters are usually things we've never talked about! It's been really great having that to reconnect with each other.

3. "I love you because..." board

We started this a couple months back. There's a white board in our laundry room, so we pass it several times a day when we go to the garage, or do laundry, or go to the trash. When we think of things to point out to the other, we write it up there. Obviously, we could just tell each other, but there's something about taking the time to write it on the board and reading it that makes it special.

4. Date Night at home

We put date night ideas together and wrote them on a piece of paper and threw them in a jar. So from time to time, we will pull one out when the kids go to sleep.

All of this is easier said than done. Half of the battles is carving time and effort out to do it. But I hope maybe one of things could be a piece of encouragement to someone out there.