This past week I was lucky enough to be a part of the PCA Camp up in Horn Creek, CO. This was my 11th year going, 8th as a counselor. Due to my "condition" I knew I wouldn't have enough energy to be a full blown counselor, so I was in charge of photos and the end of the camp video. It was a blast, but also a little tough for me. I missed being a part of the HS kid's lives and listening to how they solve problems together and how God was working in their life. So I struggled a lot with knowing my place and knowing where I belong. Some of that, I believe, also comes from being pregnant. I'm in this "No Man's Land" time of my life where I don't feel a part of my "old" life, but I have no idea what the next part of my life has in store for me yet. So it's a weird time in my life right now.
The theme of the week at camp was "The Amazing Race", and we focused on our race as Christians, what the prize was, and how to preserver. The one story that stuck out to me was about Abraham and Sarah. They left everything, their comfort, family, everything. They waited on God's promises even though they didn't know when they would come. But they kept their eyes on the prize, they looked towards Jesus and the city he created. They saw the glories of living with their God as more important than anything else. THEY had faith that looked beyond their circumstances in order to preserver. It reminded me a little of Jason and I. We're up here, by ourselves, we left all we knew behind. The only difference is... we've kinda given up. We were very excited to see where God was going to lead us and how he would use us, but we've just turned up discouraged. We haven't found a church we feel apart of, or spiritually challenged, and we haven't really found much opportunity for ministry. But the story was an inspiration for me, of Abraham and Sarah, it gave me hope and a reason to preserver. They went through crazy trials and periods of waiting, but they kept their end goal in mind, and I want to be able to keep God in mind instead of falling into a hole of self-pity and laziness. They could have easily done that, but they chose to set their minds towards the city of the Lord.
Another thing I loved about this week was the music. There was one song we sang called "Shine Into Our Night". Really, it speaks for itself and pinpoints exactly what I've been feeling. And that's what I'll leave you with tonight.
We are not what we should be
We haven't sought what we should seek.
We've seen your glory, Lord, but looked away.
Out hearts are bent, our eyes are dim
Our finest works are stained with sin.
And emptiness has shadowed all our ways.
Jesus Christ, shine into our night
Drive our dark away
Till your glory fills our eyes
Jesus Christ, shine into our night
Bind us to Your cross, where we findlife
Still we often go astray
We chase the world forget your grace
But You have never failed to bring us back
Reveal the depths of what You've done
The death You died, the victory won
You made a way for us to know your love.
