Saturday, February 15, 2014

Hi Ho, Hi Ho... It's back to work we go!

The past two weeks were full of ups and downs. I started off strong and kinda went downhill from there. Like I said before, I was excited to be back at work, but then I would feel guilty for wanting to go back to work... THEN I'd feel really sad that I wasn't the one taking care of my own baby. But for now... being a working mommy is what's best for us at the moment. And actually, one reason why we decided I HAVE to go back was so that I can apply to this federal program that pays off teacher student loans if they work in a Title One school for five years. So, I'll finish off the year and hope that that gets approved!
But anyway, we'll start with the first Monday and leaving the baby to the Nanny. That morning I had realized that this would be the first time in almost a YEAR that I was going to be away from Sara for more than two hours!!! (I'm counting her being in my belly obviously) Lucky for me, Jason was told to go into work later that day, and I left her with him instead of the nanny. It made it a smidge easier to say good-bye. However, she decided to cry her eyes out right before I was heading out the door and that was the first time I broke down! It was a good first day back though. The kids were happy to see me, and I was happy to have a different routine. The bad and ugly part of the day was realizing that the kids were acting like they had been at the beginning of the year and realizing that I wasn't going to be able to just jump right in and pick up where we left off. We had to get use to each other once again. This week was a good week to come back. Wednesday was the awards assembly, Thursday we took a field trip to Santa Barbara to watch the movie Frozen AND to meet the two directors, and Friday was the Spelling Bee. By Friday, the kids and I finally remembered how we use to do things and we are back in our groove. The second week was a little more rough. Even though it was a four day week, I just seem to walk around like a teacher zombie sometimes. And don't even get me started on how grumpy holidays make me... and with a lack of sleep, it was 5 times worse. One of my girls gave me a very uplifting card. It was really sweet. She thanked me for coming back and said it must be hard to leave the baby but to remember that Sara still loves me and she's happy that Sara will share her mommy with 27 students. It was precious. So.... I WILL make it; it's just going to be very hard.
Field Trip!
She now has Draco the Dragon now too!
Things I have learned about being a teacher:
1. 5th graders are like my baby. They show signs of what they want and if I give them the attention they need early... Then they'll be less likely to act crazy! Now... It's just hard to work on giving them the attention they need when there is so much more to do.
2. My "pregnancy brain" has not gone away and I have to work a lot harder to remember things and to come up with things on the spot like I was good at before.
3. Just because I had a baby doesn't mean I am just warm and cuddly. I still have high expectations and expect the kids to work hard to reach them.
4. Pumping at work SUCKS! I only get two breaks and have to use them to pump in a cold bathroom where the light goes off if I don't move around.
5. All in all... I've realized how much I like my job! So it's up in the air what I will do for next year.
The grey twins
Every day after school, it was so awesome to leave school and come home to my little squishy face baby! One thing I was not expecting was how much work I was going to be doing after school. It's like all those little things I would do while she was asleep... now I had to do after a long day's work. It's exhausting! And Jason and I switch off on baby duty in the evening while the other one is cooking or cleaning up... so it feels like we never get to actually spend good time with one another! There was one night where Sara hadn't gone to sleep yet, so I got out our Pillow Pet Glow Light (Which is a ninja turtle) and turned in on in our room where it was dark. It shoots colored stars onto the ceiling and Sara LOVES to watch them. So I laid her on the bed and watched them with her, and then Jason came and found us and we had a really nice 20 minutes all together... just sitting in the dark watching the stars. It was the best moment ever. I can't wait for more days like that.
Happy girl!
Things I have learned about being a mommy:
1. I cherish EVERY moment with Sara; even if I have to wake her up (and make her grumpy) before I head off to work
2. It's hard not being able to sleep as much as you use to. Getting up at 5:30 SUCKS!
3. It's hard having someone else take care of your precious little one.
4. Coming home is great... but sometimes I feel like ALL I do is clean up after that day and start preparing for the next! I still have yet to figure out an easier way to cook and clean dinners, so that Jason and I can actually spend time with each other in the evenings.
5. Making your baby smile can brighten ANY day!
6. I have to ask for help! I'm not the kind of person who likes to do that, but I've realized that if I don't, I become a monster and hate on everything. PLUS I don't get my cuddle time in because I'm too busy thinking I have to do everything by myself.  
7. I LOVE WEEKENDS! They are both reviving and I get to take care of my baby like it should be! 
This is how I try to work and cuddle at the same time!
I was telling someone the other day, when they asked how it was going being back at work, that it's just a new part of life I have to get use to. I feel like that's all my life is now! I had to get use to be being pregnant, then I had to get use to being a mom and having a baby in the house... and now I have to get use to being a working mom and letting someone else help raise her! It's hard, but I guess it's life. I'm very thankful for this three day weekend! Plus, Nina and Papa are in town!!! They finally get to play with the baby without her crying too much! haha I guess that's all for now.