Monday, April 28, 2014

I Knew You...

I was going through my pictures, and looking back at some of the ultrasounds and it made me smile because her ultrasound looks just like her! It's kinda funny because before she was born and I had seen the ultrasound pictures, I still wondered WHAT she would look like. Come to find out... I had already seen her! :) It also amazes me how she still does things that she did while she was in my belly. I found three examples. We always know when she's getting sleepy, because she puts her arm up to her ear like that!
I look at these, and I just think to myself that God knew exactly what he was doing. It makes me stop and praise God for who He is and what He has done for me! Even though I don't deserve any sort of grace or mercy, he is faithful, forgiving, and full of grace. I like this verse below. How comforting and uplifting it is to know that God had a hand in her creation and that he has known about her!? Even though our miscarriage we had, he KNEW that Sara Nicole Lawyer would be a part of our family. And He has set her apart! What an amazing God he is!?  She's a miracle! Knitted together in MY BELLY! It's just insane!!! I'm just in awe of what God has done!
Having a baby around sure does make life a little harder. Especially my spiritual life. It's almost like God just takes the sideline because I'm always so worried about what Sara is doing, what I need to be doing for her, or how I can help her stop crying. And then when I finally do get some time to do things, I feel like that time is dedicated towards cleaning, organizing, or just sitting doing something mindless. Even with church, yes we go.. but how often does my mind float to think about how she's doing in the nursery, or watching my phone to see if the nursery calls me because she's hungry. I guess I'm just really trying to find my place with God in all this. It's hard being involved in church because I feel like we just go straight to the nursery afterwards, pick her up, and by then she's hungry or sleepy so we don't hang around much. So if you think of us, or as you finish reading this, just say a prayer that Jason and I can figure this whole thing out to not only be great, godly parents, but also that we wouldn't lose sight of what we believe in. 

That's all. :) For now...

1 comment: