The End is Here

The end is near. It’s weird, exciting, crazy, and fantastic that Jason will be actually coming home this week! It’s been such an emotional rollercoaster. In the beginning it was, “How am I going to do this?!”. Near the middle it was, “I’m sick of being by myself…. you need to come home now”. Now that it’s the end… it’s “Holy crap… how did I just get through those 7 months!?” It’s hard to express what it’s like to be a military wife with your husband overseas. There are so many emotions involved, and a lot of growing that I had to go through. I’m happy I went through it though; it makes me confident that God will use me in someone else’s life when they are going through it. It was nice having older women who have been through it to tell me that it was ok to feel the way I did, and that it was ok to be angry over the situation because marriage ISN’T suppose to be like that. It’s not normal!

Looking back, I can’t believe the person I have become today. Really, I never lived on my own, and it hit me a couple weeks ago that I was actually living on my own for the first time. With no one to lean on, no one to take the trash out for me, fix my car, or change light bulbs and smoke detectors… it was just me. Yes, I have many people who told me they would help me, and I called my brothers and dad countless times asking for help… but I learned a lot about taking care of our house. I’m proud of what I have been able to do. I also have become quite the independent woman because of all of this, so I think it will be really weird sharing my life again with someone. Sometimes I think it will be like being a newlywed all over again. 

I’ve been very busy here in Vegas. Next week is Spring Break! WOO! I’ve grow quite attached to this group of boys. It’s the most challenging group I’ve dealt with in my…. 4 years of teaching… but I’m really attached to them. They get my silly humor and we have fun at school! I’ve been doing tutoring after school, which keeps me here till 5:00 three days a week, but it’s ending on Thursday. I’m’ very happy about that. On Sundays I’ve been teaching a Sunday school class. It’s mostly girls and there’s usually only 4 of them, but I’ve been enjoying that. Thursday nights have been bible study nights. We’re going through the book of Job. I’ve had to be the substitute leader a couple times, but it has been a blessing doing that while Jason’s been gone.

I’ve gotten close to a few people here in Vegas that I haven’t really had the chance to get to know very well till now. One is Carolyn, and she got me into line dancing! I even bought a pair of cowboy boots! Imagine that! My niece Evelyn has been my pick me up! I love my Evelyn time! A couple months ago, I got to steal her and we went to the Shark Aquarium because she LOVES fish! She’s growing up so fast, and she’s such a start little girl! This past weekend I went to Disneyland with Carolyn, kinda as a last horah before Jason comes home! Those have been the highlights of what I’ve been into lately, but I’m more excited to have my husband back! I can’t wait! 

I want to thank anyone who reads this for supporting Jason and I and praying for us through all of this. By God’s grace we have almost arrived to the end of this trial and I’m excited to see what God will have in store for us the rest of this year. It will be an interesting one…. I’m sure of it.

 

 

Almost there!

Jason:

Today marks a third of the way through March, YES!  This means, I’m within a month of being home, DOUBLE YES!  As you may interpret from my exclamation marks, I am getting very excited.  This week I found a perfect song to follow my anticipation and bliss, a classic rock song “Up Around The Bend” by Creedence Clearwater Revival.  I want you to dig this song out, turn up the volume, and jam out with me!  Close your eyes, listen to the electric guitar celebration, and the cheerful rhythm of the drums.  Imagine me running in place, my arms and legs moving as fast as they can.  See me ready to be released from the gates, then exploding down one last stretch and around the final bend HOME.  Your “vision” of me should “sound” a lot like the lyrics, “There’s a place up ahead and I’m goin’, just as fast as my feet can fly… Come on the risin’ wind, we’re goin’ up around the bend, Ohh!”

With the project in Kuwait complete, and most of our equipment on pallets ready to go, there is not much holding me back until they hand over a flight itinerary.  I wish it was that easy, but unfortunately there is more to leaving than that!  Rest assured, the time is close, and everything else is just a checkbox to mark off before I’m seated on a plane to fly home.  I have been tested with patience before, and so it seems this is another test, yet I will succeed.  At times like this, I think of the ultimate test of patience, our time before Heaven.  James 5:7 states, “Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord.  See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains.”  I like to interpret this as (not sure if it’s correct or not) God as the farmer and we are His precious fruit of the earth.  Praise Jesus that we have received the early rain once our seed was planted in Christ for salvation.  Therefore our true test of patience is waiting for the late rain.  So no matter where you are or what age you reached, let’s try to enjoy our gift of life every day and every night in between our early and late rains.

Some days are dry…that is for sure, ha.

Enjoy the song; it’s what I have enjoyed all week.

Shelter

Jason: 

My favorite song this week is titled “Shelter”, which is by one of my all time favorite bands Jars of Clay.  It wasn’t until last night while texting Melissa before I relaxed my eyes for the night that I realized how much I miss Christian fellowship.  Right after my desire to be at the side of my wife, I would say I miss Christian brother and sister fellowship the most!  I have done a good bit of reading of the Word and prayer on my own while deployed.  However, I recently realized this huge void in my life of fellowship and growth in Christ with others.  It’s not to say there are no guys out here in our little camp that believe in Christ, but either I failed to start deep conversations, or perhaps it was a lack of interest from others not to ask more questions when I have spoke up about my faith.  There is truly something special in a church family of heart full believers, and I can’t wait to get back involved.

If you listen to some of the words to this song it amplifies the importance of having fellowship.  “We will never walk alone…In the shelter of each other, we will live, we will live.”  I now truly understand the importance and truth to the words of this song.  Even though I am on the other side of the world I know I have family and friends that are continually praying for me and Melissa as we have this time apart.  We have done fine, and we are both amazed of how endurable it has been considering the circumstances of our distance!  What can’t be done is face to face fellowship, and worship of the love of Christ with other men and women.  Church truly is a great idea!

To add into my emptiness (if that is possible, literally speaking), I currently live and work in a Muslim country.  On top of that, I am a member of the armed forces, so I am not allowed to talk about my faith to citizens of the deployed country.  So that counts out any chance of sharing my faith with others we see working in the dining facility or in the airfield area.  Furthermore, five times a day Kuwait has Muslim prayer time.  The standard prayer is played in all areas on loud speakers, and on every radio station.  For Muslims the world should stop at prayer time, and it’s known as one of the moments throughout the day for the scripted prayer to Allah.  This is one approach to their works righteous belief system, but for some reason it’s frustrating to me.  More than once I awoke at 5am to hear the Arabic prayer being played on a stationary loud speaker in the area.  I have also heard the prayer outside of the dining facility during the predetermined time of day.  If you’re lucky, while driving a truck or van, you can seize the right moment to the Muslim prayer on all radio stations.  It’s frustrating because the people of Kuwait get their time (even though it is programmed) to express their religion with others because they are home.  I am not home, and I don’t really have the option here unless it’s me, myself, and I.  Yes, there is a “Chapel” and Chaplains at the nearby air base, which is about a 45 minute drive, but our schedule does not favor that commute.  At times I feel like I walk alone with Christ in our little world of the construction project in Kuwait.  The guys here are my family unit for now, but I sure do miss my brothers and sisters in Christ physically at my side to read, study, pray, and fellowship.

Enjoy the song; it’s what I have enjoyed all week.

Pumped up Kids

Jason:

My favorite song this week may seem a bit odd, but just give it a try because it is so catchy!  I apologize now if it’s one of those songs you can’t get out of your head for a week or so.  Pull some time aside and listen to “Pumped Up Kicks” by the band Foster The People.  I really took a liking to this song while riding in our sweeper truck toward the end of one of our long work days this week.  The time of day and location was a perfect mix for this song on the radio.  It was already dark outside which followed some of the gloomy lyrics, and the lights on the airfield taxiway and parking apron were bright and colorful to go along with the instrumental beats.  I and another guy were just cruising along in the truck at a rapid 3 mph sweeping up any mess we may have made throughout the day.  As we cruised we were jamming to this song, just about blowing the speakers out of the government vehicle!  It was a nice end to a long day in the cool strong desert wind to say the least.

The song talks about a kid who finds a six shooter gun, who basically has it in mind he wants to shoot the gun at some people :(  It’s not known if he wants to shoot in retaliation and anger toward one person, or possibly a group of kids that are giving him a hard time.  The chorus goes, “All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, out run my gun…faster than my bullet.”  Yes, very crazy and dark I know.  I feel guilty for liking this song, but then again, when haven’t each of us wanted to retaliate against someone for something they have said or done to us?  Some people obviously have a higher form of revenge than others, but the ideas in our heads are the same right?  Basically some person hurt me, so I want to hurt them more!  I have not been struggling with this myself lately, but I know there are a few guys deployed with us that are feeling some of these frustrations towards other guys, but not to the six shooter level!  

Morale of the story, before you go “Punisher” dark superhero on people for revenge and instant self gratification remember what Jesus taught about forgiveness.  We are not so perfect ourselves, so don’t be too hard on those that have wronged against you.  Who knows, one day you may even be the person who better be running with the Reebok pump shoes on!  Try to forgive, and realize the act of forgiveness does not come instantly all the time, but is more of a process in your heart.  Recall Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”  How great is it that if we forgive others that sin against us, then we too will be forgiven by our Heavenly Father of our continued sins!

Enjoy the song, it’s what I have enjoyed all week.

I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow

Jason:

Yes, it has been over two weeks since I have put together a post, but who is counting?  It’s not like I’m counting down weeks until I get to go home or anything like that!  January has been fairly uneventful, other than the breakthrough of getting WiFi connection in our tents.  Weather has been a little chilly, just above freezing temps when the sun is hiding, but lately we have been in the high 60s during the work day.  I don’t have much news to report on the project, but we are almost complete with section six of seven, yay.  It will be nice to have this project finished so we can think more about how to palletize all the equipment to send out of here.  But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves, ha.

This week’s favorite song comes from one of my favorite movies, O Brother, Where Art Thou?  You have probably heard it once or twice before performed by the infamous Soggy Bottom Boys, a song titled “I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow.”  I like the song this week mainly based on the title; lately I have been feeling a little sorrow everyday as I continually miss home and my second half, Melissa!  However, as sorrowful I may feel the upbeat guitar and twang country voices automatically puts a smile on my face.  The routine out here in our camp is getting old to say the least.  Mainly the living conditions with 30 plus, some quite messy, guys.  And since I am not yet a Staff Sergeant, I and twelve other “airman” have had the extravagance of cleaning our bathroom every day since mid December, with April being the end in sight.  Joy.  The dining facility has pretty good food, but I am simply burnt out of eating the food here three times a day.  Thanks again for all that have sent snack food; it has really helped break up the tastes out here!  My time at the gym, watching movies, and TV shows has increased this month.  The effect has been a decrease in my time relaxing with music and reading.  I have been enjoying a book from Jama, titled the Resolution for Men, and I plan on reading through it again at home so I can put some of the wisdom into use :)  The author speaks a lot about how men need to lead a spiritual life within their families, and the importance of inspiring faith in their children.  Again, I dream of my wife and our families…sigh.  I can’t wait to be home.  Until that day I take comfort in a verse Melissa gave me to hold onto while I am away.  Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  I may be a man of sorrow, but at least I’m not a man of CONSTANT sorrow, ha.  Praise God for instilling courage and faith into our hearts wherever we go!

January 13th

 Jason: 

We have connection to the world!  This week was pretty amazing as a morale booster because we managed to buy our own Wifi connection in our tents!  So now we all can send messages home from the comfort of our own bed, at any hour of the night that we please…so long as your laptop screen is not too bright to keep up your neighbor, ha.  It has been so great being able to send messages to Melissa now right when I wake up in the morning, before I go to bed, and anytime in between so long as we are off work.  It has helped our distance relationship tremendously, and now we can joke around and be each other’s silly best friends again.  Before, it was always brief emails about how’s your day, how did you sleep, etc.  Now we have the time to dive in deep with our email messages, and we have grown and learned so much more about each other this week than the past three months!  Communication is an amazing thing.

Obviously with having the luxury of Wifi in my bed I have spent more time surfing the web, and looking more into life around the world.  It has been great, but I have found myself very distracted more now, and my reading of books and listening to music has dwindled down this week.  Not to say I have done none, because the Lord sent me toward an excellent passage today.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 reads;

“I want you to be free from anxieties.  The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.  But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interest are divided.  And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.  But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.  I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”

There are definitely advantages and disadvantages of being married, or unmarried, and I wouldn’t change my Facebook status for anything!!!  But the importance of this passage to me is being reminded of the most important thing in our lives, our relationship and communication with the Jesus.  I challenge you to pray that you are not too distracted, anxious, and divided with other stuff that you push your devotion time away.   My song to go along with this is from 1997, titled “I Wanna Be There” by Blessid Union of Souls.  I believe this song was written as one person wanting to be there for their loved one, but if you listen to the words you can easily imagine its Jesus singing to us!  “You wouldn’t know that I was there, cause I have been there all the time, and if I had my way, I’d hold you in my arms, leave this madness all behind.”  How true, we do such a good job of pushing the Lord away when we are distracted and anxious about other things in life.  It’s so comforting and praiseworthy to be reminded that Jesus would sing to us, “Im gonna be your lover, gonna be your friend, gonna be there till the end.”  I love my wife more now than when we first said “I do.”  However, let’s all work on loving the Lord more now than when we first said “Jesus be the savior of my sins, and accept me into your Kingdom.”

Enjoy the song, it’s what I have enjoyed all week.

2012

We are a few days into the New Year, which means a few days past the half way mark for this deployment!  I spent most of the first three months with a goal in mind; make it to January 1^st, and then your half way done.  Now that we have reached that goal my motivation has gone down quite a bit.  Everything out here is very cyclical, which includes the work, the meals, the minimum entertainment, and the people.  We basically all wake up at the same time, we eat our meals at the same time, we work together all day, and then we are around each other most of the evening.  We all dream of being back at home with the ones we love.  Simply put, we want to be doing the things we choose, with whom we choose, at the time we choose.  Lately it has felt like some sort of prison.  Obviously I don’t know what prison feels like, and I’m sure it’s NOT that bad here!  However, my favorite song to escape to this week has been Johnny Cash, “Folsom Prison Blues.”

 

Most days lately I feel like, as Cash sings, “I’m stuck in Folsom Prison, and time keeps dragging on.”  Melissa and I cannot wait until April comes!  We both need your continued thoughts and prayers to make it through this second half.  I feel like I’m stuck in a detention center of some sort, and Melissa has been feeling like she is stuck in a rut.  It’s a shame we can’t be around to help each other out, but great we both have faith…some days stronger than others.  I just wish I could be like Peter in Acts 12:6-11.  How great would it be to have an angel appear to me in prison, take off my chains and tell me, “Get up, get dressed, and follow me out of the country.”   

 

Enjoy the song, it's what I have enjoyed all week.